
Photo from Print Artist Gold
As parents, most of us love our daughters dearly and want to see them shine throughout their lives. As an engineer and author who has had the opportunity to recently speak with many parents and daughters, sometimes together, sometimes separate, I’m hearing and seeing a very disturbing phenomena. I’m hearing and seeing parents – often without realizing it – hold their daughters back from their fullest potential.
Perhaps you hear yourself in this example:
One young woman, age 10 or 11 years, told me how her dad never lets her help with projects around the house even though she really wants to help. Maybe the dad thinks he can do the job quicker without her “help” or maybe that she would be more in the way than “helping.” I never met her dad, so I do not know. What I do know though, is that this young woman told me her story while she voluntarily fixed my Rubik’s cube that a young boy left for broken just minutes before. Perhaps if her dad could have seen how deftly she fixed that Rubik’s cube, he might find his home fix-ups finish quicker with his daughter’s help!
Or maybe you see yourself in this example:
MSNBC.com recently featured an article about how “Societal values, not aptitude, may be turning” girls away from the sciences. In the article titled “Tech industry searching for girls gone geek,” reporter Eve Tahminicioglu quotes a young college woman whose mother was not happy with her choice of computer science major – “she said I’d never find a boyfriend.” The young woman is only 22. Societal values can still be quite shocking even in the 21st century.
Or are you possibly in this example?:
“Oh, my son would love this book” when the daughter is the one who came to my table and started looking at the book. I’m certain these parents mean no harm and are even doing a wonderful gesture by thinking of their son. I just want them to think of their daughter, too. Already in 3 months or so of book signings and presentations, I’ve seen an incredible number of young girls with disappointed looks as they walk away from my table with the book for their brother.
At the same time, I have seen many celebratory comments and actions from parents – “I definitely want you to talk to my daughter’s girl scout troop;” or inviting me into their daughter’s preschool class in honor of her birthday; or purchasing one book personalized just for their daughter and another book personalized for their son. Engineers are not born, they are inspired. Your daughter can be inspired too.
Parents, please share this with other parents – awareness is the first step towards change.
Look for my blog next week –“How Teachers are holding their students back”